Admin - May 11th, 2011
People are sometimes curious about my personal decision to not have sex until marriage. So, here is my take on why abstinence works for me:
When I was in high school a few of the girls in my class, including one of my best childhood friends, got pregnant. Seeing how their life plans were affected made me think hard about how my own life goals could be interrupted. I decided I needed to make a plan to ensure that I would stay safe, healthy and on the right path to reach my goals. The question was, how could I guarantee that this would be accomplished? For me, there was only one answer that I found to completely ensure that I would be able to realize my goals. That choice was to not have sex until marriage.
My decision to practice abstinence is one I have to continue to make each and every day. Some days it can be hard, but at the end of every day that I have stayed abstinent, I am proud that I have made that decision for myself. It is a significant decision to make and cannot be made lightly.
Though it is not always easy, for me it was the only choice that I saw allowing me to secure my future and my life goals. Now I am 25 years old, have my Master’s degree and am in the process of starting my career. I have had no worries of an un-prepared pregnancy or a pregnancy outside of marriage because of my decision, and this lack of worry has allowed me to be where I am today. Abstinence is working for me and it can work for you too!
Guest post by Nicole D.
Admin - March 25th, 2011
Do you struggle with knowing whom to trust and whom not to? Trust is a big part of any relationship, especially one with your significant other. If you don’t trust that person, it’s going to wind up hurting both of you. Also when someone doesn’t trust you, it can feel like a betrayal or like they don’t believe in you or understand you.
Usually trust is based on what we see a person do: their actions. If someone says they will call and they do, we start to trust what they say. On the other hand, if someone says they want to hang out with you and they don’t show up, you call them a “flake” and start to doubt what they say.
Being called “trustworthy” is pretty desirable. We want people to trust that we will be there for them. Good relationships are marked by mutual trust. It’s pretty cute when a boy stands up for you because he believes in you. Guys love to be trusted, too. They love when you call them to ask a question or when you just want to be reassured about something. That shows trust.
The crazy thing about trust is that sometimes it can be misplaced. That can be pretty harmful. One thing that causes misplaced trust is, believe it or not, sexual involvement. Sex causes the release of a chemical called “oxytocin”. According to a recent issue of the “Monitor on Psychology”, oxytocin promotes trust. A study was done that asked the participants to split money with a stranger. Those who inhaled oxytocin offered the stranger eighty percent more money than those who did not.
What does that mean? That means that before the commitment of a relationship built on the ultimate trust of marriage vows, sex can cause us to trust our partners more than they really should be trusted. We might disregard the fact that they never call when they say they will just because we are sexually blinded. We may not see our relationship for what it really is.
One idea is to take a step back and evaluate how trustworthy our partners are. Try designating a certain length of time, maybe until you graduate or a few months time from now. Take this time to remove the blinder that sex can be. Abstain. Look at your relationship for what it really is. Does he do what he says he will? Does she tell you the truth? Try journaling or talking to someone else you trust about what you notice. Instead of sex, try planning creative date ideas or thinking of creative gifts to give your partner. This will lead you toward an honest perspective of your relationship that you can trust.
Guest blog by Em H.
Admin - July 7th, 2010
Unfortunately, Egyptian hieroglyphics are a bit vague on exactly what form of birth control was used at the beginning of civilization. As a result, we are left to draw our own conclusion. Historically speaking, it’s probably safe to say that somewhere along the line those before us discovered the infamous “withdrawal method.”
Though many consider this method stuck in ancient times, it is still widely used by teens today. According to contracept.org, more teens use the withdrawal method as their primary form of birth control than any other age group.
Let’s explore what exactly this method entails. Scientifically referred to as “coitus interruptus,” this form of birth control is used when the male partner removes his penis from the vagina before ejaculation occurs at the climax. Though it sounds simple enough, there are many variables that could ultimately lead to pregnancy.
Research conducted by the Guttmacher Institute shows that even when used effectively the failure rate of withdrawal is around 18 percent. In teens, the failure rate is at 27 percent. Teens, who generally have less sexual experience, cannot always judge when they are nearing climax. In addition, even if the male has withdrawn, sperm coming into contact with the female genitalia can still result in pregnancy. Other variables include when sperm from a previous sexual experience is still in the male’s urethra causing sperm to enter the woman through pre-ejaculatory fluid. Because there is no way to tell (unless you have a swab and a microscope handy) if sperm is present in the pre-ejaculatory fluid or accidentally transmitted to the vaginal area pregnancy can still occur even if withdrawal is successful.
It is also worth noting that the withdrawal method offers no protection against STD’s or HIV. You are therefore fully susceptible to whatever diseases your partner may have.
So let’s recap some of these variables:
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Even when used correctly there is an 18 percent failure rate.
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Among teens there is a 27 percent failure rate.
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Withdrawal does not protect against STD’s and HIV
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Even if the male withdrawals in time there could still be sperm in the female’s genital area.
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If withdrawal is done and correctly and no sperm appears inside the vagina or on the female’s genitals, sperm that remains in the urethra still may have leaked out during intercourse in the fluid known as pre-ejaculate.
After looking at all the research, statistics and variables, it’s clear why many say the withdrawal method should be buried in an ancient tomb.
Guest post from Sarah R.
Lisa P. - May 12th, 2010
Can I get pregnant if...
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we have sex before/after/during my period?
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I'm on birth control?
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we didn't really have sex, but ...?
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(your question here)
Getting pregnant depends on egg, sperm, hormones, timing and lots of other factors. Studying conception is difficult even in a lab because the factors are small and hidden deep inside the body.
In addition, the peer counselors who answer the helpline or talk with you at your visit aren't medical professionals. However, they have a lot of experience with pregnancy questions and have heard the personal stories of many women. Because they've heard these stories, they will always say that the only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test after enough time has passed.
Timing
The timing question (when in your cycle did the incident occur) is tricky because of the assumption that every woman has a 28 day cycle. Some women have shorter or longer cycles, and some women have very irregular periods. Even women who have regular periods may experience some variations due to stress, illness, travel or nothing in particular. Because sperm live for a few days and the body doesn't exactly issue an ovulation warning, relying on timing means counting on two things: there isn't an egg ready to be fertilized at the time of the incident, and also that the body won't release an egg (ovulate) while there are still sperm around. Even people who keep track of when they ovulate can get confused, tricked or just surprised by what the body does.
Birth Control
All birth control fails sometimes. Some kinds are very, very effective, but most of our peer counselors have done a test for someone in that unlucky small percent of women who get pregnant on the pill (or the patch, or whatever). Only abstinence provides complete protection against getting pregnant. Next to that, choosing a birth control method and using it regularly (as directed) is very desirable. Remember that hormonal birth control methods (pill, patch, shots, etc) don't protect against STDs, and even condoms only provide partial protection. (More about STDs here.)
Outercourse and other sexual activity
Anyone who's asking about the possibility of pregnancy from outercourse, which includes mutual masturbation and oral sex (or some combination thereof), should probably get a test. Pregnancy is not likely to result from alternate sexual activities (which is why people engage in them, in part), but it is possible (which is why people call or chat to ask about it). It's hard to estimate the likelihood of a pregnancy occuring this way because in addition to the regular factors, there are questions about sperm survival and transmission. If you're worried about it, the mechanics are too subtle and individual for someone else to be certain for you.
Getting a pregnancy test can help couples relax and stop stressing out about the possibility of being pregnant. This is helpful since stress can delay a woman's period or mimic other symptoms of pregnancy. The pregnancy tests offered by PregnantHelp are free and performed in a comfortable, confidential clinic. Call or chat to schedule an appointment.
Brenda Goodnough, RN - March 10th, 2010
What are they?
A sexually transmitted disease (STD) is a disease caused by a pathogen, such as a virus, bacterium, parasite, or fungus spread from person to person through sexual contact. STDs can be painful, irritating, debilitating, and even life threatening. More than twenty sexually transmitted diseases have been identified. All STDs can be spread by oral sex as well as vaginal or anal intercourse.
The most prevalent STDs are HPV (genital warts) and Chlamydia. Other common STDs are Herpes, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, HIV/AIDS, and Hepatitis A and B. In the United States there has been a steady increase in Chlamydia and Syphilis. It is estimated that each year 2.8 million people are infected with Chlamydia in the U.S. alone.
Who gets them?
An estimated 200 to 400 million people worldwide are infected—men and women of all ages, races, and economic classes are affected. STDs occur most commonly in sexually active teenagers and young adults, especially those with multiple sex partners.
In the United States more than 13 million new infections are reported each year. More than 65 million people live with an incurable STD. About 60% of these infections occur in young people less than 25 years of age, and of these 30% are younger than 20. Between the ages of 14 and 19, STDs occur more frequently in girls than boys by a ratio of nearly 2:1; this equalizes by age 20.
Can they be cured?
STDs caused by viruses, such as HPV, Hepatitis B, HIV/AIDS, and Herpes may be treated for the relief of symptoms but not cured. These viruses will remain in the body to some degree for life. HPV is the leading cause of cervical and anal cancer and a large percentage of oral cancers in women and men. AIDS causes about 15,000 deaths a year in the United States.
STDs that are caused by bacteria, fungus or parasites can usually be treated with good outcomes. However, many of these STDs, particularly Chlamydia, rarely have symptoms in the early stages so they often go untreated. This can result in Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) and damage to the reproductive system which increases the risk of infertility and future ectopic pregnancy.
STDs can be devastating and life changing. Even in a monogamous relationship, there is no risk of transmission of an STD only if both partners have not had any type of sexual relations in the past. The likelihood of contracting or spreading an STD increases with the number of sexual partners.
Anyone who is sexually active should be screened at least yearly for STDs and be diligent with prescribed treatment and follow up. Choosing to be sexually active requires taking responsibility to care for yourself and others who may be affected by that choice.
